I hate you

Well, it happened, I heard it with my very own ears. Winter told her parents 'I hate you.' I went down stairs to get something from a room in our basement and all over three pieces of furniture is bright green marker. In the past we have made it very clean that 1) markers are only for paper and 2) Winter is responsible for her markers. While Winter was coloring earlier Ledger must have sneaked off and decorated the couch and two ottomans downstairs. I was not too worried about it because they are washable markers and I also take responsibility that he was unsupervised long enough to have done the deed. I called Winter down and asked what happened. She knew right away that she was in trouble and that she was supposed to have been keeping track of her markers. I asked her how she was going to make sure this didn't happen again. She told me she would put her markers away right now and put them up where Ledger couldn't get them. Fine, fine. I came upstairs and told Cory what happened and he was not so happy about the incident and asked out loud "why do we even have markers?" Winter said she loved the markers. Cory then told her that we shouldn't have markers, we should throw them all away so that Ledger can't get them and draw on the furniture. Winter repeated "but I love them!" Cory was not amused and with a more firm tone told Winter the markers would end up in the trash if that's where they needed to be.

"I hate you."


Cory told her that no she didn't and that she shouldn't say things like that, especially to him, her father. She was promptly sent to her room. My mouth was a gaping opening at hearing her say such a thing. Where did she pick that lovely saying up? Who else shouldn't I let her play with? My sweet sensitive girl who usually folds like a house of cards when she meets any resistance just really let one fly. Cory and I both know she doesn't fully understand what she said, but still. I already feel like I keep her from playing with several other children because of different things. One is obnoxious, one picks on her, one is as likely to run down the street and disappear as she is to stay and play with Winter or worse have Winter follower her and then I don't know where they are at all, one I don't get along with her mother, and now I have one that probably is teaching Winter all these wonderful things to say.

UPDATE: Upon talking to Winter she learned 'I hate you' from Nemo, so no more Disney either :)

Children fears and mama tears

I swear this is a happy post, you just have to get through my rant first.

Today completes the first whole week I have been home a full 45 hours during the day with my two children in more than 2 years. Cory recently took a new job that requires him to be at an office during the day, ALL DAY! This was actually my greatest concern about him taking the new job. I know probably sounds totally selfish, but I have very much enjoyed our both being able to work a little from home and a little away from home. Overall I think it helped us both be a little more recharged in life. But now, it's all me, for 45 hours a week, every week, all summer long, add another baby in the fall and Winter starting Kindergarten, and then the dreaded cold, stuck-in-the-house winter time. As you can tell I am really looking forward to that time in life.

I think Cory has a good dose of fear that I might just lock the children in a room and cry for awhile. I am not very good at the whole 'stay at home mom' thing. They drive me nuts and I feel like a bird in my gilded cage. I know what a wonderful rare thing it is to get to be a stay at home mom. I know I should relish in the fact that I get to be with my children while they are young, and I do, BUT... I also need to get the heck out of here sometimes. It is not as bad as it use to be. I think staying at home with one child = my living nightmare (and once upon a time my past situation.) I adored spending so much time with Winter. She was a beautiful, smart, fun baby. She also made me feel like a princess trapped in a tower and she was the dragon keeping me from doing anything ever with no hope of leaving and never never having time to myself. I told Cory that once in an emotional crying episode. He was surprised I didn't delight in the fact that he was working his butt off just so I could be at home with her and not have to do anything besides raise her. After I had Ledger there were more tears. I could not imagine leaving him. The four months I worked from home after he was born were so wonderful to have him close but awful because I couldn't focus just on him (and let us not forget Winter, she also demanded my attention.) When I returned to working at an office full time I cried almost everyday on my way to work, I stopped nursing before I wanted to, and even though I knew he was in the good and capable hands of my fabulous sister-in-law, I pined to be at home with my children. I recently confided in Cory that I think it messed up my bonding with Ledger to be away from him so much during his first year of life. I would have gladly lived in my gilded cage to have that time with him. It brings tears to my eye even now to know I didn't appreciate it with Winter and that I didn't sacrifice more to be home with Ledger. Now is my chance one again...

I think my personality is not one of rainbows and sunshine because I always always ALWAYS forget to just enjoy myself, to look on the bright side, to find a way to be happy with what I have, and that if I don't like something CHANGE IT!! It's hard now because all the changes are happening at once and I am out in the rain fighting them instead of seeing that no one can see my tears in the rain, so I might as well smile. I have another chance to do this stay at home thing and damn it, I am going to do it up right!

Introducing the Jar-o-fun (my let's fill the at least part of the day with an activity so mommy doesn't go crazy and you have some great memories and got to do lots of fun things this summer jar)
You can find lots of list all over the internet but here is what is in our jar:

• Make paper flowers
• Camp in the backyard
• Plan a trip to a water park and then go (this one dad is needed to help wrangle so first we plan, then we go)
• Catch frogs
• Fireworks just because
• Have a movie party (we did this one already this week. Winter invited over 5 of her little friends and we made air popper popcorn, had snacks, and set the couches up movie theater style while they watched Alpha and Omega)
• Walk to the ice cream place
• Go for a long bike ride
• Have a tea party
• Outdoor movie night
• Make melted crayons
• Ledger decides (Winter pulled that one last night for today. She doesn't realize there is one that says Winter decides so as of yet, she is kind of bummed that he gets to pick. He is going to pick feed the ducks which Winter also loves)
  
• Go swimming
• Dinosaur museum
  
• yadda yadda yadda

You get the idea. I also have a partner in the library this summer. Each Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday during the day and at night they have something going on at one of the branches, plus there is always story time.

I still have a job, I am still at the hospital almost everyday, just for now, it is in the evenings. And during the day I am working on Cory's RGWB business and my own photography, but only around spending time with the kids. I have figured out that if I want to get something done I am just going to have a frustrating hard day. When I don't care, yes, the house becomes a mess and I get behind on things, but we are all much happier. I'd rather do 'nothing' with the kids all day and be happy and more importantly have them be happy.


This one was all Winter's idea. She wanted to make our own lemonade. Sparkling sounded delish to me so we did. The first taste didn't have much sugar and her sweet little face puckered up from the lemon juice. She smiled and said 'mmm that's good.' Obviously it was too sour. We added a little more sugar and then she could actually drink it. We drank the whole bottle the same night we made it :)

What are you going to do this summer to keep from going crazy?

Sometimes I just need a reminder...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINTER!!

5-years-old? That can not be right! So far in her 5th year of life Winter has been a dream child. She has been nice to her brother without having to be asked, she puts her dishes in the sink when finished eating all of her dinner, and she communicates her frustrations in a calm and non-dramatic manner. It has only been one day, but if this is what it is like to have a 5-year-old, I am much happier than with a feisty 4-year-old.
This was the flag banner I ever so carefully cut out by hand to welcome Winter home from school on her birthday.
Here are the materials...
Here is all the tulle needed to make 9 little girls tutus.Last week I was extremely disappointed with a few things and then I realized I had completely forgotten to plan anything for Winter's birthday. Cory's family is a "come over for cake and ice cream" kind of family, where as my family is a little more "you are queen for a day" kind of family. I felt awful that I didn't even know what kind of cake she wanted. Then I saw this adorable fairy party idea. The bug had bitten me, I was now in full out creative crafty mode.


As an activity the girls made magic wands. The stars were cut out with a cricket machine (I'm not that crazy) The wands are made from star shaped scrapbook paper and ribbon covered dowels.
They danced around and we played fairy-freeze dance.
They also played fairy-freeze tag which they came up with all on their own.
Opening presents
The fairies had glitter in their hair and ribbons around the wrists and tied in their hair for full fairy attire. The girls were really cute and Winter loved it all. She was very excited when her daddy came home with her gift from us too. She got a shine new pink baseball bat so her and Cory can play hit'em in the yard.

Now some photos from the past 5 years.
We were in the pet store and she put a dog chain collar on her head like a head band. Cutest thing ever!
Cooking Grandma Dutton's famous raise cake with her Grand Dad.
Newborn photos
Mmm
Wild child

My favorite was when she would fall asleep all around the house.
One-year-old at-ti-tude !
Good morning Winter
She has always loved that purplue blanket. She still sleeps with it every night, although it is not so bright anymore.
They both like to lay in the sun
As soon as she could walk she loved the park and is totally fearless.
She makes the funniest faces
Learning to crawl, here she comes to get me.
Who let her put that in her mouth?!
Her eyelashes have always amazed me. They are so dark and long. They have been since the day she was born We are so happy to have Winter in our lives. Love you baby girl!

7 big reasons I love him

1. He does something every single day that makes me know we were supposed to be together. We went to the plant nursery the other day and saw a pretty yellow tree. Cory looked at the name of it 'forsythia.' 3 seconds later I say out loud 'For Cortney.' Cory laughs and says I read his mind. This kind of thing happens all the time!

2. He is a wonderful father. Winter and Ledger adore Cory and love to be involved with anything he is doing. Cory is great about letting them help in whatever small way that they can and he really takes the time to teach them things. He has never missed a baby appointment, not one in now three pregnancies. He is there every time by my side smiling uncontrollably. AND he looks really good with a baby in his arms, like irresistibly hot!3. So supportive! It is not easy to quit your stable job, follow your dream and figure out how to grow a business. Cory has been wonderful about it all. He is my rock when I have a down day, my comic relief when I can't take it anymore, and my understanding listener when I go off about yet another set back or frustration.

4. He is obsessive about things. For example, recently Cory read something about colonizing Mars. He has always been fascinated with Mars, but hearing this news sparked a whole new fire of thoughts and ideas for him. He started researching means of energy, how much food a person eats in a year, what resources exist on Mars, etc. He should be working for NASA! Most of our conversations lately have been about Mars and colonizing it. His brain continues to mill it over and over. I found an article on our iPod touch about breathing liquid oxygen. It's true, he is way too smart to be that good looking.

5. His masculine side doesn't make him stupid. To explain, what I mean is, Cory is totally willing to nurture my feminine side. He is so willing to do things with me, without complaint, without ego, without "I wouldn't be caught dead doing that." Instead he buys the tickets to the ballet because he knows I crave culture in my life, he watches the chick flick and makes fun of it with me, he feels a baby kick in my belly because of the brightness in my smile it adds to have him attentive. He has never let his testosterone level or society decide what is manly enough. He is a guys guy for sure, we watched nearly 82 Jazz games this year, he is painting the lawn mower John Deer Green, he's been in a fight at a hockey game (love you babe), etc. etc. I am just in love with the fact that pig headedness isn't one of his masculine traits.

6. Family first. Cory was raised in a family that really appreciates each other. His siblings are all very smart, talented, genuinely good people, and so are their spouses. As our family grows I am very thankful that Cory puts family first. I'd say 90% of the time we do things together, all 4 of us. There is no other place he'd rather be than with us. It makes me proud to be his wife and the mother of his children.

7. He rises to a challenge. There isn't anything Cory can't do, and do well. The bar is set very high for my husband and he not only meets it, he exceeds it. I have high expectations, I am particular about most things, I have a millions food specifics, I am difficult most of the time. I am, to say the least, a challenge. Cory has never let me down and has always made me feel loved.
I'd be lost without you. Love you Love. Happy 7 years!